Jess in Translation... or Transition... ?
I'm kind of in a weird place right now. Things have been a bit "uncertain" in the recent while and I can't seem to tell time or be able to figure out where I am sometimes, though I know exactly what's going on and I can enjoy every moment... Ahhh... I'm not making any sense!
I'll always be "figuring things out"... wondering, seeking, searching, asking, knocking... it never seems to end. I definitely think this is a good thing :) As humans, we should never get to the point in our lives where we "have everything all figured out" and all our ducks are lined neatly in a row. It's all an illusion. We were never made to know and be in control of everything. Why is it that we all have this tendency to want and desire control? Well... not really all the time. I go through these moments where I want full control (even of my family situation, my friends, loved ones, ministry, future, etc.), but then I think to myself, "this is so silly... what the heck am I doing?!" and I come to my senses (or shall I say His grace allows me to come to a realization?) and admit that, though my natural tendencies are to want control, I am not in control, because God is. Every day is filled with unknowns.
I have submitted my application for Teacher's College and though I don't KNOW for sure whether this is part of His Will or not... I know that it's not wrong to make plans (ie. "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps") or venture out, even when you're not completely sure? I don't know anything anymore. It really freaks me out when I think about whether or not I'm making the RIGHT decisions, and more importantly, following after what He wants. Nevertheless, I was really comforted by this verse in Proverbs 16:9... I'll hear back in April whether or not I will start school (once again) in September. I did my best in getting those applications done... the rest is in His hands.
Since teaching is such an awesome skill to have when going overseas and with the summers off, there are so many options as to how this will come to use in the mission field. I leave it at that and I move on... flexibility is key. With this 2006 ending and a new year beginning, there are lots of wrapping up and looking ahead... planning, strategizing, intentionally seeking, managing, and the list goes on...
How will next year look? Who really knows (except our Lord)... all I know is that I cannot imagine being in any other place other than in the center of His will. As I move according to His Spirit's leading, may I be intentional in how my time is being spent (as we can spend our time in all sorts of ways!) to further His work, how relationships will develop (or not...), how ministry will look (divided up?)... Wayne told me yesterday that before anything else, our time spent with God should never be compromised. With all the demands involved when officially doing "ministry" (as Christians, we're all involved in "ministry" to some capacity), it's easy to get caught up on all the "stuff." We can never EVER forget the life-sustainer, the life-giver, the LIFE.
J
I'll always be "figuring things out"... wondering, seeking, searching, asking, knocking... it never seems to end. I definitely think this is a good thing :) As humans, we should never get to the point in our lives where we "have everything all figured out" and all our ducks are lined neatly in a row. It's all an illusion. We were never made to know and be in control of everything. Why is it that we all have this tendency to want and desire control? Well... not really all the time. I go through these moments where I want full control (even of my family situation, my friends, loved ones, ministry, future, etc.), but then I think to myself, "this is so silly... what the heck am I doing?!" and I come to my senses (or shall I say His grace allows me to come to a realization?) and admit that, though my natural tendencies are to want control, I am not in control, because God is. Every day is filled with unknowns.
I have submitted my application for Teacher's College and though I don't KNOW for sure whether this is part of His Will or not... I know that it's not wrong to make plans (ie. "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps") or venture out, even when you're not completely sure? I don't know anything anymore. It really freaks me out when I think about whether or not I'm making the RIGHT decisions, and more importantly, following after what He wants. Nevertheless, I was really comforted by this verse in Proverbs 16:9... I'll hear back in April whether or not I will start school (once again) in September. I did my best in getting those applications done... the rest is in His hands.
Since teaching is such an awesome skill to have when going overseas and with the summers off, there are so many options as to how this will come to use in the mission field. I leave it at that and I move on... flexibility is key. With this 2006 ending and a new year beginning, there are lots of wrapping up and looking ahead... planning, strategizing, intentionally seeking, managing, and the list goes on...
How will next year look? Who really knows (except our Lord)... all I know is that I cannot imagine being in any other place other than in the center of His will. As I move according to His Spirit's leading, may I be intentional in how my time is being spent (as we can spend our time in all sorts of ways!) to further His work, how relationships will develop (or not...), how ministry will look (divided up?)... Wayne told me yesterday that before anything else, our time spent with God should never be compromised. With all the demands involved when officially doing "ministry" (as Christians, we're all involved in "ministry" to some capacity), it's easy to get caught up on all the "stuff." We can never EVER forget the life-sustainer, the life-giver, the LIFE.
J
posted by Jess at 2:45 p.m.
4 Comments:
Powerful Reflection Jess! I was blessed reading it. My prayers for you as you continue to seek His will for your Life.
SamW
awwww... thnx sam! prayer is definitely needed =) thnx!
Hi Jess!
I've been meaning to email you! But I do keep myself updated through your blogs. We missed each other the other day when you were in Kingston. :(
Wow. Teacher's college? God works in mysterious ways. Good luck and many blessings, dear friend.
Sally
Hey mate,
good stuff!! your honesty in your ponderings and thoughts ALWAYS sparks something in my own mind.
I have just finished my degree about a week ago. I'm 100% sure that it was God's will for me to come back and finish my TESOL major. Now its done I'm so thankful! and am really looking forward to how God will use it out on the field ... He hasn't told me how or when though ;)
God bless you and all of your decisions... and I believe He will "make your paths straight". Sometimes we feel like we trust God, but we don't trust our own ability to hear Him and to obey Him ... just as well the "God factor" is so much more important than the "Us factor" =)
Blessings,
Tom
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